The General Rules of the Games

OK, we know not everyone belongs to a clan, so after deep discussion and finally talking to the wife, we decided to allow between one to four rest of the world teams at each of the meets. The exact number of rest of the worlders will depend on the size of the competition and the ability of the facility to handle the vast numbers that will turn up.

The rest of the worlder teams can freely compete against the clan teams, with the only requirement being they need to say fandabidozi at least once during each match to prove their understanding of Scottish culture.

In addition, we accept any and all teams from the Boston area because they are fun, and I have unilaterally decided they will forevermore be considered honorary Scots. If anyone disagrees with this rule they need to drink at least two breweries dry and submit a petition on the back of a beer mat to us that is supported by both the Mayor of Boston and the Lord Provost of Glasgow.

So, with that important rule out of the way, concerning Clan Teams, each clan must be made from players who descend from a Scottish clan, with there being no limit to how far you can go back in your family tree. But choose wisely, because once you decide there is no going back and you cannot change your decision for the rest of the year. Yep, there is no switching between teams mid season, and there is absolutely no buying players from the other teams with offers of free Irn Bru.

And one very important rule is the rules of games are not fixed. We encourage local and regional games to adapt when necessary. For example, for the over 100 age group in lawn bowls we strongly encourage using rinks set at half length and limiting golf games to crazy golf for the same age group, but the organisers can reduce the age limits and are free to set half length or even quarter length rinks to match whatever situation arises. The aim is to have fun, and let everyone take part. Football matches can include advertisement breaks (sorry hydration breaks) when required, but there will be no VAR, which means you will be need to check referee eye prescriptions carefully. More detailed rules concerning rules of the games and safety will be published soon.

Finally, the throwing of tree trunks, telegraph poles and heavy hammers is forbidden, and despite repeated requests swords and daggers cannot be included as a standard part of any football kit.

So, get active, send as a message and start organising your first meet.